I’ve been on a bit of a Batman kick lately; the animated stuff on Netflix (Batman and Justice League movies) are all pretty excellent, and I started reading The Dark Knight Returns again. The first time around, I never finished it. So sue me. But I just came across this little mashup of all the shit Batman says in his ridiculous voice. It’s made even more ridiculous when everything is said back-to-back-to-back-to-back. My god, that is an awful voice. The movies are great, but man. Anyways, enjoy.
So, I watched Far Cry yesterday. It wasn’t one of my brightest ideas, but I did pay actual currency to see the first Transformers in theaters. I also paid to see Doom. I always think back on that when I find myself thinking it’s beneath me to watch, well, anything ever again.
As if you didn’t see this coming. Yep, Van Damme did another holy shit awesome commercial, but this time he didn’t just poke fun at himself; he did a stunt that’s genuinely impressive. I’d love to try this, but I value my life. And my crotch (maybe even more so).
Okay, I know this is fake to some degree. Whether it’s due to some sound effects added to the end of the clip, I don’t know. I also don’t care. My position is that the moving images being seen by my eyes and translated through my brain tell me that I just saw Jar-Jar Binks die a stupid, meaningless death. There you have it, folks: proof the universe is concerned with justice. Sweet, sweet, deadly justice.
Also, how could they surface from the sea on top of a fucking waterfall? Maybe that was even too stupid for Lucas to allow through. Pretty arbitrarily choosy, that guy is.
Extra Happy Friday!
I almost didn’t make it here this time, but it’s still the end of the week. A such, you should all thank me by watching Wolverine get fired from the X-Men. Xavier has a point, you know. Just saying.
Let’s not beat around the bush here: Jean-Claude Van Damme is awesome. Since today is his 53rd year on this planet, there’s no better way to pay tribute to him than to show off his Coors Light and Virgin Mobile television commercials. The Virgin Mobile one is pretty good, but the ones you really need to watch are the Coors Light spots. Fucking amazing. My pants were never that tight, but sometimes my nipples do talk to me. They probably don’t say the same things his do, but I’m working on it. I’m working on it.
Oh, and if you haven’t seen JCVD, you should. Just saying.
You’ve all seen your fair share of bad lip reading videos, right? Right. Well, this one is six minutes long, and it’s for Game of Thrones. If that doesn’t whet your appetite, then I hope you starve.
Oh, it also takes some pretty high confidence to end the entire thing with a long fart joke. AND IT WORKS.