It’s easy nowadays to equate Steven Seagal with the words “douche” and “washed-up.” But for a while there, he was a certified bad ass of action cinema. So, since it’s his 61st birthday today (and I barely realized this in time), I’ll just go ahead and give a small tribute to him on my blog altar and hope he one day answers my prayers by making me capable of knocking a man’s teeth out with a pool ball wrapped in a sock.
Fire Down Below is the last Seagal movie I genuinely enjoyed. Not because it’s a truly good movie, but because a lot of the scenes and dialogue are hilariously bizarre. Take, for instance, how the clip I’m about to show you begins, with Seagal pronouncing to a bunch of thugs “I was just taking a little Sunday stroll, I guess maybe it’s not Sunday”; the brilliant retort being “You picked a fine time to take a walk in our marijuana field.” If that’s not entertainment, well, maybe the rest of the clip of him punching hicks in their huge belt buckles will be. After Fire Down Below, he did The Patriot and Exit Wounds, and thus began his slide into DTV. Still, I’ll always have fond memories of him from the late ’80s and ’90s, and this movie puts a smile on my face every time.
“You could be an English teacher, probably, except you don’t understand plain English, do you?”
Bonus: The entire movie is on YouTube. Enjoy (or don’t).