I Want to Take His Face…….Off – Storage 24 (2012)

Storage24Now this is more like it. If you happened to have read my last post about Hypothermia, you’ll remember how puke-inducing the monster in it is. Well, last night, I streamed another random horror movie from Netflix, called Storage 24. Thank God this one panned out, otherwise I was going to swear off monster flicks and exclusively treat myself to German expressionist dance for the next two months.

<b>...and nobody wants that.</b>

…and nobody wants that.

Storage 24 is actually a sweet little horror/sci-fi movie about a group of people trapped inside a public storage facility during the aftermath of a nearby government plane crash. As it turns out, the plane was transporting an alien from God-knows-where to Satan-won’t-tell-you-where. It gets loose inside the facility and starts a small shitstorm as it terrorizes everyone unlucky enough to be within its grasp.

This is what's known as "unlucky."

This is what’s known as “unlucky.”

So, there’s a monster. It’s not exactly a monster; it’s an alien. An alien monster? It’s big and has sharp teeth, so call it what you want. It’s mostly CGI, but the execution is great for the low budget I’m sure everyone had to work with. Maybe my bar for acceptance has lowered dramatically in the past three days, but I don’t think that’s the case. It’s a sufficiently formidable creature with clawed hands that can literally turn your face into, well, half of a face.

I’ll admit that the movie is very predictable, though. Before anyone bit the big one, I took a guess as to who was going to die and in what general scenario, and I finished batting a thousand. That’s not to say Storage 24 is boring; even though it hits certain beats, I was having fun the entire way. I’d say a lot of that has to do with the cast, which is uniformly good. I can always appreciate it when a character starts off as a tool but ends up being the baddest motherfucker in the room. That’s the case here, and Charlie (Noel Clarke) deserves a kind of a golf clap or something for winning me over. Also of special note is Laura Haddock, who plays Charlie’s friend, Nikki. I’d forgive you for initially brushing her off as a probable blond bimbo, but she’s actually very rational and in-the-moment.

Plus, she looks like a combination of Angelina Jolie and Heather Graham. That is a good combo, indeed.

Plus, she looks like a combination of Angelina Jolie and Heather Graham. That is a good combo, indeed.

The same goes for pretty much everyone in the main group, even if one of them is a complete douchebag. Oh, but we all know what happens to douchebags, don’t we?

I’d call Storage 24 much more horror than sci-fi, but the ending certainly lands it squarely in the realm of science fiction. It’s not going to blow you away if you’re looking for something wholly unique and original, but as a derivative, low budget creature feature, it does the job well. Like I said earlier, it’s streaming on Netflix, so if you have that and a spare 87 minutes, give it a shot.



About Sir Phobos

Male, 30-something, hates stupid things and likes non-stupid things
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6 Responses to I Want to Take His Face…….Off – Storage 24 (2012)

  1. Beer Movie says:

    Nice review. But I gotta say I’m a little disappointed I won’t get two months of your views on German expressionist dance.

  2. Frame Rates says:

    Another movie on my rainy day list. I’ve listened to spoilers of this movie so I know what happens, but that gore looks pretty great!

  3. I prefer 3 face rippings at a minimum.

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